Sunday, May 26, 2013
Memorial Sunday morning epiphany
SUNDAY MORNING EPIPHANY
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skypename halpep, pepinsky.blogspot.com
May 26, 2013
Perception is all
we know how to change
l&p hal
Monday, May 20, 2013
Rush Creek Village, the Pepinsky house, a personal history, Hal Pepinsky 052013
In case you come to visit and I haven't told you already, here's what I wrote for the guide for a state preservation annual meeting tour of local homes, which is a lot easier for you to read than to hear me say it:
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Monday, May 20, 2013 6:18 PM
To: nwright@columbuslandmarks.org
Subject: a little personal history
Sent: Monday, May 20, 2013 6:18 PM
To: nwright@columbuslandmarks.org
Subject: a little personal history
It
will also save time if people know about my history of the house so I
can just describe the house and layout of RCV when they get here. Feel
free simply to pass this along to
the visitors in advance, perhaps even at registration if you still need
to attract people:
I'm Hal Pepinsky. I started first grade in the Worthington school system in 1951 when my parents and I moved from Pullman, Washington, when we moved into an apartment a mile down the road from the Rush Creek home my wife of 39 years, Jill Bystydzienski, and I moved into, after a good deal of restoration, two years ago this September; I transferred to University School at Ohio State in the fall of 1957, when my parents and I moved into the house you are about to visit. The house, and the guest house I helped mix mortar for that was finished in 1959, were designed for me and my parents, Pauline and Harold B. (I'm Harold E.) Pepinsky over about a 2-year period of reviewing and adjusting preliminary plans, until we moved into the completed house in 1957. It was our first, and my parents' only owned home. My dad died in 1998. Three years ago this summer, my mom moved to The Laurels of Worthington, just a mile up the road, where I join the director, Kristine, for weekly singalongs, and my mother slips peacefully and steadily into another world. She will be 94 June 27. I am 68.
My parents were research psychologists who got Fulbrights and a Guggenheim to spend 1961-62 in Trondheim, Norway, for which University School gave me credit enough for high school graduation. Five days after we returned home, I went away (to Michigan) to college. In intervening years, I, then Jill and then our daughter Katy too, visited the house many times. I began teaching criminal justice full-time (trained in law and sociology) in 1970. In 1976, I started my final job, in the department of criminal justice at Indiana University in Bloomington. In 1998 after Katy had grown up and moved on, Jill moved from teaching sociology at Franklin College, to directing the women's studies program at Iowa State in Ames. In 2006, she was hired in her current position as chair of women, gender and sexuality studies at Ohio State. She chose a condo in Worthington, a mile the other side of where my mom now resides. In 2009 I sold the house Jill and I had bought in Bloomington in 1977 as soon as I could after becoming eligible for early retirement, and after 12 years, finally got to live with Jill again. It was her idea that we move back to my childhood home. I resisted on grounds that it would be like living in a museum. By the time we moved, I had gotten used to looking forward to the prospect. I never dreamed of feeling so truly at home. When we moved in, I thought this first house of ours was pretty neat, but as my mother (who played muse to Ted van Fossen in designing our place) used to say to me, "You don't live visually." Times have changed. I am noticing patterns and details and siting and unfolding of wildlife just 3 blocks' routine walk from the center of old Worthington (chartered between North, South, Evening and Morning Streets in 1803; Rush Creek land and Colonial Hills annexed by Worthington only in 1952; Colonial Hills Elementary School opened in 1954; Wakefield and Freeman houses built in 1954; Rush Creek Village platted and incorporated in 1955, with the first lender in Worthington not to recognize red lining). I'd like to begin your visit with our just sitting in the living area (there's no living ROOM), the geo-center of Ted's design, from which I can explain the orientations of the house, guest house, and surrounding houses (also with roofs sited topographically) in our community.
Tina Wakefield lives in the house where she cared for her mother Martha until Martha's last hospital stay. She holds her parents' Rush Creek legacy sacred. She would like you to know that she does not welcome you to come in only because her mother would be ashamed of how deteriorated the house has become. Tina has neither the authority nor the money to do what needs to be done herself, and is something of a state of mourning over it. I and many members of the Rush Creek community share that sadness. Know that there is a gathering will to fulfill a dream of Rush Creek Company buying the house and turning it into a community center, as for instance for architectural workshops and conferences...and parenthetically, perhaps to save the first house that Ted van Fossen designed, built in 1940 for the Gunnings at 7595 East Broad Street, now also deteriorated and up for sale to be razed, for the 2 wooded lots to be used commercially. My mother was aware of what was happening long enough to see the native planning, design and construction by the Columbus-born Martha, Dick and Ted, begin to get the appreciation and respect it so deserves.
Ted's slowness in perfecting Rush Creek designs for the original owners was a source of considerable frustration. I am now beginning to appreciate just how painstaking and meticulous every detail of Ted's design is. Ted spent a lot of time in our home; he loved to bring friends and hang out here when he was visiting town. He used to talk about his struggle "to figure out what works." I'm here to tell you it works, and I feel blessed to return here, where I hope to be when I die. Talk about coming home...
I'm very much looking forward to showing off Ted, Martha and Dick's legacy to you. Welcome! love and peace--hal
I'm Hal Pepinsky. I started first grade in the Worthington school system in 1951 when my parents and I moved from Pullman, Washington, when we moved into an apartment a mile down the road from the Rush Creek home my wife of 39 years, Jill Bystydzienski, and I moved into, after a good deal of restoration, two years ago this September; I transferred to University School at Ohio State in the fall of 1957, when my parents and I moved into the house you are about to visit. The house, and the guest house I helped mix mortar for that was finished in 1959, were designed for me and my parents, Pauline and Harold B. (I'm Harold E.) Pepinsky over about a 2-year period of reviewing and adjusting preliminary plans, until we moved into the completed house in 1957. It was our first, and my parents' only owned home. My dad died in 1998. Three years ago this summer, my mom moved to The Laurels of Worthington, just a mile up the road, where I join the director, Kristine, for weekly singalongs, and my mother slips peacefully and steadily into another world. She will be 94 June 27. I am 68.
My parents were research psychologists who got Fulbrights and a Guggenheim to spend 1961-62 in Trondheim, Norway, for which University School gave me credit enough for high school graduation. Five days after we returned home, I went away (to Michigan) to college. In intervening years, I, then Jill and then our daughter Katy too, visited the house many times. I began teaching criminal justice full-time (trained in law and sociology) in 1970. In 1976, I started my final job, in the department of criminal justice at Indiana University in Bloomington. In 1998 after Katy had grown up and moved on, Jill moved from teaching sociology at Franklin College, to directing the women's studies program at Iowa State in Ames. In 2006, she was hired in her current position as chair of women, gender and sexuality studies at Ohio State. She chose a condo in Worthington, a mile the other side of where my mom now resides. In 2009 I sold the house Jill and I had bought in Bloomington in 1977 as soon as I could after becoming eligible for early retirement, and after 12 years, finally got to live with Jill again. It was her idea that we move back to my childhood home. I resisted on grounds that it would be like living in a museum. By the time we moved, I had gotten used to looking forward to the prospect. I never dreamed of feeling so truly at home. When we moved in, I thought this first house of ours was pretty neat, but as my mother (who played muse to Ted van Fossen in designing our place) used to say to me, "You don't live visually." Times have changed. I am noticing patterns and details and siting and unfolding of wildlife just 3 blocks' routine walk from the center of old Worthington (chartered between North, South, Evening and Morning Streets in 1803; Rush Creek land and Colonial Hills annexed by Worthington only in 1952; Colonial Hills Elementary School opened in 1954; Wakefield and Freeman houses built in 1954; Rush Creek Village platted and incorporated in 1955, with the first lender in Worthington not to recognize red lining). I'd like to begin your visit with our just sitting in the living area (there's no living ROOM), the geo-center of Ted's design, from which I can explain the orientations of the house, guest house, and surrounding houses (also with roofs sited topographically) in our community.
Tina Wakefield lives in the house where she cared for her mother Martha until Martha's last hospital stay. She holds her parents' Rush Creek legacy sacred. She would like you to know that she does not welcome you to come in only because her mother would be ashamed of how deteriorated the house has become. Tina has neither the authority nor the money to do what needs to be done herself, and is something of a state of mourning over it. I and many members of the Rush Creek community share that sadness. Know that there is a gathering will to fulfill a dream of Rush Creek Company buying the house and turning it into a community center, as for instance for architectural workshops and conferences...and parenthetically, perhaps to save the first house that Ted van Fossen designed, built in 1940 for the Gunnings at 7595 East Broad Street, now also deteriorated and up for sale to be razed, for the 2 wooded lots to be used commercially. My mother was aware of what was happening long enough to see the native planning, design and construction by the Columbus-born Martha, Dick and Ted, begin to get the appreciation and respect it so deserves.
Ted's slowness in perfecting Rush Creek designs for the original owners was a source of considerable frustration. I am now beginning to appreciate just how painstaking and meticulous every detail of Ted's design is. Ted spent a lot of time in our home; he loved to bring friends and hang out here when he was visiting town. He used to talk about his struggle "to figure out what works." I'm here to tell you it works, and I feel blessed to return here, where I hope to be when I die. Talk about coming home...
I'm very much looking forward to showing off Ted, Martha and Dick's legacy to you. Welcome! love and peace--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep,
"Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
NOTE CLARIFICATION OF MAY 3 POST re "treating cancer"
I have posted this message at the top of that post:
FIRST A COUSIN, NOW A FRIEND, HAVE ASKED ME WHETHER I MEAN TO SAY HERE THAT I HAVE CANCER. I DO mean to say that I refuse to have a colonoscopy because I don't want to know that I have cancer till it's too late for anyone to try to persuade me to fight it, rather than joining it as painlessly and freely as I can. Sorry for any confusion--l&p hal
FIRST A COUSIN, NOW A FRIEND, HAVE ASKED ME WHETHER I MEAN TO SAY HERE THAT I HAVE CANCER. I DO mean to say that I refuse to have a colonoscopy because I don't want to know that I have cancer till it's too late for anyone to try to persuade me to fight it, rather than joining it as painlessly and freely as I can. Sorry for any confusion--l&p hal
Saturday, May 11, 2013
A Dutch ritual abuse survivor's story
This is the stuff that pushed me to build defenses against ptsd, given
that I couldn't bring myself to walk away. Thanks to survivor Neil
Brick, at www.ritualabuse.us, for this link to a Dutch survivor's story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PyrPEu7nk1Q
. It is not pretty, it is graphic, more so than survivors I have
brought to crim and humanist soc conferences have been. As the saying
goes, viewer discretion is advised, but if you can bear to hear a report
like the dozens I have heard the last 20 years, survivors will thank
you for facing their globally networked demons. One of my own
presentations at Neil Brick's annual survivors' conference may be heard
at http://smart-talkspodcastblog.blogspot.com/2011/11/hal-pepinsky-2008-weighing-and.html . l&p hal
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Allen's reply to my answer on whether I believe in God
CHAIN OF RESPONSES TO “DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?” at
pepinsky.blogspot.com, May 8, 2013—
From Allen, who asked if I believed in God:
This is amazing! I
really believe the same... I have always
extrapolated from the laws of thermodynamics, particularly that matter cannot
be created nor destroyed...I have held firmly that this "energy" is
what we give off as creation and the divineness that is already there...and the
positive forms of energy like love, benevolence, grace and forgiveness are just
as impactful and contributive as hate, anger, agression, and apathy....I look
forward to this book and the others you are sending!
You are quite amazing Hal!
I cannot wait to talk to you with a nice cup of
coffee....you may find that I ask too many questions though ;-)
I love you Hal....
-----Pepinsky, Hal on 5/8/2013 3:51 PM wrote:
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep,
"peacemaking" at Pepinsky.blogspot.com
May 8, 2013
This
blog post is the text of an emailed answer to the question of a long-term
prisoner facing the prospect of release, with whom I have been sharing his
primary task of taking stock of our lives and facing our futures:
Dear Allen,
Do I believe in God? I think so.
I discovered my sacred text, Laozi s daodejing, in the fall of 1963, my
first semester as a declared Chinese major, the same semester that the last US
president I held as my hero was assassinated.
You might say it was the autumn that I discovered my ultimate refuge
from my sense of my own mortality.. I
have just ordered you a copy from Amazon.
Verse 14 is a direct answer to your question that suits me fine:
14. Mystery
Looked at
but cannot be seen - it is beneath form;
Listened to
but cannot be heard - it is beneath sound;
Held but
cannot be touched - it is beneath feeling;
These
depthless things evade definition,
And blend
into a single mystery.
In its
rising there is no light,
In its
falling there is no darkness,
A continuous
thread beyond description,
Lining what
cannot occur;
Its form
formless,
Its image
nothing,
Its name
silence;
Follow it,
it has no back,
Meet it, it
has no face.
Attend the
present to deal with the past;
Thus you
grasp the continuity of the Way,
Which is its
essence.
When my
mom started sending me at 6 up the street on Sunday mornings to Bible school at
the Methodist church just 3 blocks from where I now live, I soon reasoned from
my teacher that Jesus s love must be so great that he had no ego, let alone the
big daddy who had magically inseminated his mama, to whom Jesus turned to for
comfort and advice when the Romans convicted him of treason and used nails and
a cross instead of an electric chair the way we were doing in Ohio to execute
traitors. Now that I think of it, that
story--the way it came across to me from my Sunday school teacher (who was,
after all, the expert my mother had sent me to learn from) that taught me
everything I have ever needed to know and pay attention to confront what I now
call violence (including my "crime problem") and peacemaking (my version
of mediation in everyday relations). It
has taken me until now, 62 years later, to figure that out though. I generally call "the dao" the
force of love that flows through and binds us together these days, not because
"force of love" is any more or less a "right word" for what
English-speaking Christian faithful call God.
But I m satisfied that many who profess Christianity worship the same
force the force of love, of empathy, of compassion regardless of name live by
and preach the same "peacemaking" way or path (translations of
"dao").
In physics-speak, peacemaking is called "synergy,"
violence "entropy." The legend
is that the daodejing is a set of quotations from someone deemed so wise during
the chaotic "warring states" period right before the Qin dynasty
first political unification of China.
Anxious kings are said to have specially sought out his visits to help
them discover how to save their own skins, let along their kingdoms. I ll insert one more verse where Laozi warns
of the dangers of splitting people apart, of attempts to impose social
order. Since exertion of mechanical
power is, as Newton told it, entropic, laying down laws (including what today
are heralded as "best practices") inevitably tears social bonds
asunder, as into "warring states."
Laozi says:
30. Violence
Powerful men
are well advised not to use violence,
For violence
has a habit of returning;
Thorns and
weeds grow wherever an army goes,
And lean
years follow a great war.
A general is
well advised
To achieve
nothing more than his orders:
Not to take
advantage of his victory.
Nor to
glory, boast or pride himself;
To do what
is dictated by necessity,
But not by
choice.
For even the
strongest force will weaken with time,
And then its
violence will return, and kill it.
It is
not only that this is sage political advice for any age. It also explains me to myself. Inside me is a material void that I equate
with being alive: consciousness. I can
see material manifestations of consciousness in my own actions and brainwaves,
and in effects of my actions on all my relations, from the rock I pick up and
throw to nailing a capital offender to a cross to die. But I can t capture it with an MRI, and I use
the word "captured" advisedly.
My own
lot in life from moment to moment is what most deepens my faith in going with
the force of peacemaking as Laozi advises.
I thank God in my own way recurrently by acknowledging that the most
reassuring, most dependable, safest and most secure human relations are those
that happen to me, rather than those I have made happen. I can make a book by myself, but I cannot buy
beauty, loving companionship and peace of mind in retirement. Nonethless, my desire to retire when I first
became eligible to rejoin Jill, and the coincidence of collapse from alcohol
poisoning with Jill but in a safe hospital bed with quiet time to detoxify and
reflect, plus who knows what else, have left me here with Jill in my true home
at 519 Evergreen Circle. God s force in
my life keeps showing me results. I m
looking out the window at the cardinal pair building a nest for their
forthcoming family, while in the evergreen we planted at the edge of our
"front" yard behind me, the south pair of cardinals is building
another. On Sunday as I sat on the patio
watching a succession of groups of tiny to large sized bees take turns
gathering pollen from a dandelion below and the huge blooming honeysuckle
above, and birds visiting too, what I found out was a migrating Swainson s hawk
2 states east of its normal path from Argentina to Canada flew in from the
northwest, circled over my head, landed in the crook of a high branch on a dead
ash tree straight in front of me; we exchanged glances for perhaps 15 seconds
and when I dipped my head to blink my eyes and looked up again, she was flying
back northwest toward Canada and she was followed by 2 curious buzzards who
came to check out an ohio state graduation party in someone s back yard at the
top of the hill the hawk had just crossed.
I recognize I come across to many as a little nutso when I remark on the
"coincidences" like this I notice almost daily. Which amounts to saying I continually feel
the presence of God, not as some kind of being I can picture, any more than I
can picture Moses, Jesus, or Mohammed incarnate. My God doesn t punish people; people are
their own undoing when they try to put each other in their proper places or
categories, or to treat them as ingredients to be added in proper measure to a
recipe for a social pie.. The best
English-language term I have found for the political attitude my faith implies
is "anarchism" power sharing rather than imposing power on others.
How am
I doing at answering your question?
Thanks for asking. Love and
peace, hal
Do you believe in God?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu,
skype name halpep, “peacemaking” at Pepinsky.blogspot.com
May 8, 2013
This blog post is the text of an
emailed answer to the question of a long-term prisoner facing the prospect of
release, with whom I have been sharing his primary task of taking stock of our
lives and facing our futures:
Dear Allen,
Do I believe in God? I think so.
I discovered my sacred text, Laozi’s daodejing, in the fall of 1963, my
first semester as a declared Chinese major, the same semester that the last US
president I held as my hero was assassinated.
You might say it was the autumn that I discovered my ultimate refuge
from my sense of my own mortality. I
have just ordered you a copy from Amazon.
Verse 14 is a direct answer to your question that suits me fine:
Looked at but cannot be
seen - it is beneath form;
Listened to but cannot be heard - it is beneath sound;
Held but cannot be touched - it is beneath feeling;
These depthless things evade definition,
And blend into a single mystery.
In its rising there is no light,
In its falling there is no darkness,
A continuous thread beyond description,
Lining what cannot occur;
Its form formless,
Its image nothing,
Its name silence;
Follow it, it has no back,
Meet it, it has no face.
Attend the present to deal with the past;
Thus you grasp the continuity of the Way,
Which is its essence.
Listened to but cannot be heard - it is beneath sound;
Held but cannot be touched - it is beneath feeling;
These depthless things evade definition,
And blend into a single mystery.
In its rising there is no light,
In its falling there is no darkness,
A continuous thread beyond description,
Lining what cannot occur;
Its form formless,
Its image nothing,
Its name silence;
Follow it, it has no back,
Meet it, it has no face.
Attend the present to deal with the past;
Thus you grasp the continuity of the Way,
Which is its essence.
When my mom
started sending me at 6 up the street on Sunday mornings to Bible school at the
Methodist church just 3 blocks from where I now live, I soon reasoned from my
teacher that Jesus’s love must be so great that he had no ego, let alone the
big daddy who had magically inseminated his mama, to whom Jesus turned to for
comfort and advice when the Romans convicted him of treason and used nails and
a cross instead of an electric chair the way we were doing in Ohio to execute
traitors. Now that I think of it, that
story--the way it came across to me from my Sunday school teacher (who was,
after all, the expert my mother had sent me to learn from)—that taught me
everything I have ever needed to know and pay attention to confront what I now
call violence (including my “crime problem”) and peacemaking (my version of
mediation in everyday relations). It has
taken me until now, 62 years later, to figure that out though. I generally call “the dao” the force of love
that flows through and binds us together these days, not because “force of love”
is any more or less a “right word” for what English-speaking Christian faithful
call God. But I’m satisfied that many
who profess Christianity worship the same force—the force of love, of empathy,
of compassion regardless of name—live by and preach the same “peacemaking” way
or path (translations of “dao”).
In physics-speak, peacemaking is called “synergy,” violence “entropy.” The legend is that the daodejing is a set of
quotations from someone deemed so wise during the chaotic “warring states” period
right before the Qin dynasty first political unification of China. Anxious kings are said to have specially
sought out his visits to help them discover how to save their own skins, let
along their kingdoms. I’ll insert one
more verse where Laozi warns of the dangers of splitting people apart, of
attempts to impose social order. Since
exertion of mechanical power is, as Newton told it, entropic, laying down laws
(including what today are heralded as “best practices”) inevitably tears social
bonds asunder, as into “warring states.”
Laozi says:
Powerful men are well advised not to
use violence,
For violence has a habit of returning;
Thorns and weeds grow wherever an army goes,
And lean years follow a great war.
A general is well advised
To achieve nothing more than his orders:
Not to take advantage of his victory.
Nor to glory, boast or pride himself;
To do what is dictated by necessity,
But not by choice.
For even the strongest force will weaken with time,
And then its violence will return, and kill it.
For violence has a habit of returning;
Thorns and weeds grow wherever an army goes,
And lean years follow a great war.
A general is well advised
To achieve nothing more than his orders:
Not to take advantage of his victory.
Nor to glory, boast or pride himself;
To do what is dictated by necessity,
But not by choice.
For even the strongest force will weaken with time,
And then its violence will return, and kill it.
It is not only that this is sage
political advice for any age. It also
explains me to myself. Inside me is a
material void that I equate with being alive: consciousness. I can see material manifestations of
consciousness in my own actions and brainwaves, and in effects of my actions on
all my relations, from the rock I pick up and throw to nailing a capital
offender to a cross to die. But I can’t
capture it with an MRI, and I use the word “captured” advisedly.
My own lot in life from moment
to moment is what most deepens my faith in going with the force of peacemaking
as Laozi advises. I thank God in my own
way recurrently by acknowledging that the most reassuring, most dependable,
safest and most secure human relations are those that happen to me, rather than
those I have made happen. I can make a
book by myself, but I cannot buy beauty, loving companionship and peace of mind
in retirement. Nonethless, my desire to
retire when I first became eligible to rejoin Jill, and the coincidence of
collapse from alcohol poisoning with Jill but in a safe hospital bed with quiet
time to detoxify and reflect, plus who knows what else, have left me here with
Jill in my true home at 519 Evergreen Circle.
God’s force in my life keeps showing me results. I’m looking out the window at the cardinal
pair building a nest for their forthcoming family, while in the evergreen we
planted at the edge of our “front” yard behind me, the south pair of cardinals
is building another. On Sunday as I sat
on the patio watching a succession of groups of tiny to large sized bees take
turns gathering pollen from a dandelion below and the huge blooming honeysuckle
above, and birds visiting too, what I found out was a migrating Swainson’s hawk
2 states east of its normal path from Argentina to Canada flew in from the
northwest, circled over my head, landed in the crook of a high branch on a dead
ash tree straight in front of me; we exchanged glances for perhaps 15 seconds
and when I dipped my head to blink my eyes and looked up again, she was flying
back northwest toward Canada…and she was followed by 2 curious buzzards who
came to check out an ohio state graduation party in someone’s back yard at the
top of the hill the hawk had just crossed.
I recognize I come across to many as a little nutso when I remark on the
“coincidences” like this I notice almost daily.
Which amounts to saying I continually feel the presence of God, not as
some kind of being I can picture, any more than I can picture Moses, Jesus, or
Mohammed incarnate. My God doesn’t
punish people; people are their own undoing when they try to put each other in
their proper places or categories, or to treat them as ingredients to be added
in proper measure to a recipe for a social pie.
The best English-language term I have found for the political attitude
my faith implies is “anarchism”—power sharing rather than imposing power on
others.
How am I doing at answering your
question? Thanks for asking. Love and peace, hal
Friday, May 3, 2013
treating cancer--CLARIFICATION: If I have cancer, I don't know it
ps--FIRST A COUSIN, NOW A FRIEND, HAVE ASKED ME WHETHER I MEAN TO SAY HERE THAT I HAVE CANCER. I DO mean to say that I refuse to have a colonoscopy because I don't want to know that I have cancer till it's too late for anyone to try to persuade me to fight it, rather than joining it as painlessly and freely as I can. Sorry for any confusion--l&p hal
I will post this essay on the blog only, and expect to distribute it only to close family, as a form of living will. I have just finished listening to a “Fresh Air” rebroadcast of Terry Gross’s interview with Bradley Cooper, just after Mr. Cooper’s father had died.
I will post this essay on the blog only, and expect to distribute it only to close family, as a form of living will. I have just finished listening to a “Fresh Air” rebroadcast of Terry Gross’s interview with Bradley Cooper, just after Mr. Cooper’s father had died.
Cooper’s
father had had stage 1 lung cancer, been treated into remission, when Cooper
describes getting a devastating call from the doctor that his father’s cancer
had recurred, and that he had 9 months to a year left to live. Fortunately, Cooper’s occupation allowed him
to take time off to nurse his father at home in Philadelphia. Cooper told how great a gift it had been to
hold his father’s hand the moment of his father’s death.
What
got my attention was what Cooper then described: his father’s fear of death and
unwillingness ever to mention death or talk about anything but getting on with
life. And, said Cooper, that was the way
his dad had always been. His dad also
appears to have been a remarkably gentle and openly antiracist person.
Recently,
my mom, who will be 93 June 27, had the latest in a long series of strokes
which has visibly paralyzed her right side.
Initially, it looked to me as though she might stop being able to
swallow, and I made it known that she was not to be artificially sustained if
she stopped eating or drinking. The way
I see it, the light of life in her body is dimming. As so often before, she has rallied a
bit. Occasionally, she utters a “perfectly
normal” short response to something I say, before her mind goes elsewhere. This morning when I greeted her by asking how
she was doing, she smiled gently and said, “I’m surviving.”
Last
week on impulse I stopped by to see her nursing home director, Kristine Provan,
the one I join for weekly sing-alongs, to explain why I wanted no further
therapy (including “occupational”) for my mom, and to thank her and the staff for
giving her and me the gift of such a warm and loving place for her to die. And I cried when I told Kristine that my
mother had always been “scared to death of dying,” and now, in semi-lucid
moments, had showed me she was scarcely afraid any more. It happens that Kristine and I share kinds of
a belief that the life in each of us is a concentration of energy that
dissipates, goes somewhere else, as the bodily light dies out. In the Kristine I harmonize with Thursday mornings
on the sun porch, I was able to share my relief and release that my mother
would die suffused with love rather than fear, confident that our lives have no
beginning and do not end when our hearts stops beating forever.
When I
heard Bradley Cooper describe his father’s final fight with cancer, I saw where
my theory of bodily life as organismic homeostasis leads me with respect to how
I regard the prospect of cancer in myself.
Although I do not count the quantity of the life I enjoy in
chronological units, I actually think my probability of surviving longer before
cancer takes the life out of my body will increase if I leave internal tumors
especially alone, and let the strength of my immune system take on that
isolated target or targets. I figure
that trying to kill a tumor, whether by cutting it out, poisoning or
incinerating it is another one of those wars that works like pouring water on a
grease fire to put it out: It spreads.
Meanwhile, the “treatment” has so weakened the rest of the body that it
can’t marshal nearly as much strength to surround or eat away at any of the new
tumors that has been seeded, let alone get them all. And so, when any of the cancer-causing agent
has gotten out already in a tumor that is “treated,” the cancer is likely to
have metastasized before long.
Meanwhile, instead of enjoying those extra years, if treated, I would
largely be more miserable than if the care were simply palliative, and more
active, and with less loss of immune response.
What
does “the evidence” say? Nothing,
because there is no control group I know of containing people like me whose
cancer has been detected and has decided against interfering with the body’s
own immune response. I do know that a
close friend of mine, the late Mike Andrews, a non-smoker, was diagnosed in his
early 20s, at the Cleveland Clinic, with lung cancer, and decided to go
elsewhere for a second opinion. That
took long enough that by the time he showed up for his new clinical workup, the
cancer had disappeared. Mike died some
30 years later of pancreatic cancer. So
frankly, if I skip checkups that might detect cancer in me “early” until I’m
showing enough symptoms to seek treatment, no one can show me that my chances
of extending my life by early detection and treatment are greater than if I one
day go to get relief from a problem, and to my relief, discover that I have
stage 4 cancer so that my family members won’t quarrel when I refuse “therapeutic”
treatment. Relieve my pain, let me just
go out like my mom if I don’t just drop dead instead: lovingly cared for and
cared about. Thank you Bradley Cooper
for enabling me to explain my death-defying attitude. And thank you, Laurels of Worthington, for
loving and caring so warmly and wonderfully for my mom. Love and peace--hal
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Encounter with false copyright claim to my book by "rare" book seller
The story unfolds here in reverse chronolical order. Note well: It took me 2 days getting kicked from place to place to obtain the magic username "copyright" to get this message through to the "appropriate" address at amazon.com. Talk about the many layers of shell corporations...
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 10:14 AM
To: info@copyright4creativity.eu
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
Please circulate this so that other authors/copyright holders of "rare" books who like me can ensure no one limits circulation of their work. You will find the book in question available for free download at critcrim.org . I only checked on amazon to see how the book was advertised after my pdf was already online. I have a lifelong commitment to the sacredness of free flow of honest information, especially from people who are most spoken for instead of being heard about themselves...a long story. Can you help me get this word out, because I'm sure that amazon isn't the only distributor rare book sellers are jacking up book prices for by suggesting they hold copyright? I'll bet it is an entrenched practice. I have long experience with opening up records to public scrutiny. I am known for always having put my contact info into "blind" article/book ms. reviews, for example. All of which is to say, if there is any way that a fairly experienced and committed nut on freedom of information sharing and accountability, and as a retiree with lots of time on my hands, please let me know if my experience/name/advocacy can be of help anywhere, anytime. Thanks for being there--love and peace--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:25 AM
To: copyright@amazon.com
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
your customer support agent just told me this copyright issue is for you. Note: This is not just about me, one author/copyright holder. It is about the bogus practice abebooks.com cites as policy below. Copyrighting an "original" photo of someone else's book cover? Give me a break. And if you check further, the criminologist in me guesses this might even be covert standard practice among rare book sellers.
Let me know what action you take, if any. regards--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:28 AM
To: security@amazon.com
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
This practice of putting a copyright notice on a picture of someone else's book cover has stopped for me. It needs to stop for everyone, as I'm sure you'll agree. thanks for your help--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:07 AM
To: buyertech@abebooks.com
Subject: RE: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
You are not entitled to put a copyright notice on a picture of my cover. I have freed the book from copyright, and I don't want any hint of the situation being otherwise for ANY copy of the book. Please do what you need to simply to ensure that no picture of the book cover ever carries a copyright notice, especially to someone other than me. I saw yesterday that you had taken the image of the book off amazon. That's fine with me. I don't care whether you even offer the book for sale. Just con't put a copyright notice on a picture of the book cover. thanks--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: buyertech@abebooks.com [buyertech@abebooks.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 1:17 AM
To: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Subject: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
Hello Harold,
Thank you for contacting AbeBooks Customer Support about the Listing Details
page.
When a book listing is uploaded to AbeBooks, we will try to match the book
details or ISBN in our ISBN database. If a match is found, we may enhance the
listing with a photo, synopsis, review, or bibliographic details. Because this
information comes from our ISBN matching services, the Listing Details page
includes their copyright information.
AbeBooks is legally required to include this information with every listing that
may be matched in our database.
Please feel free to contact me should you have any further questions or concerns
and I will be happy to help.
Sincerely,
Megan H
AbeBooks Customer Support
AbeBooks.com Passion for books.
Need further assistance?
Visit our online help pages: http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/ABEHelp
Email: http://www.abebooks.com/abe/ActionRequestInsert
Telephone: 1.800.315.5335 (7:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (Pacific Time), Monday to
Friday)
Security Tip - Please do not send credit card numbers or confidential
information via e-mail or other non-secure methods.
www.abebooks.com | www.abebooks.co.uk | www.abebooks.de
www.abebooks.fr | www.abebooks.it | www.iberlibro.com
*** your question/request ***
Please stop claiming copyright on my book, Harold E. Pepinsky, Crime and
Conflict: A Study of Law and Society (1976). I own the copyright, and have
donated a pdf to the critical criminology division of the american society of
criminology, on their website home page at critcrim.org . You are welcome to
advertise and sell the book to anyone who wants hard copy, since I have already
opened the book to free online access, and advertised that fact broadly. Some
people may want the original binding for their own reasons; I have no need to
keep or sell hard inventory. But please, withdraw your false copyright claim on
amazon. Many thanks--hal pepinsky@indiana.edu
*** end of question/request ***
#en.se.sog.imt.wx
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 10:14 AM
To: info@copyright4creativity.eu
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
Please circulate this so that other authors/copyright holders of "rare" books who like me can ensure no one limits circulation of their work. You will find the book in question available for free download at critcrim.org . I only checked on amazon to see how the book was advertised after my pdf was already online. I have a lifelong commitment to the sacredness of free flow of honest information, especially from people who are most spoken for instead of being heard about themselves...a long story. Can you help me get this word out, because I'm sure that amazon isn't the only distributor rare book sellers are jacking up book prices for by suggesting they hold copyright? I'll bet it is an entrenched practice. I have long experience with opening up records to public scrutiny. I am known for always having put my contact info into "blind" article/book ms. reviews, for example. All of which is to say, if there is any way that a fairly experienced and committed nut on freedom of information sharing and accountability, and as a retiree with lots of time on my hands, please let me know if my experience/name/advocacy can be of help anywhere, anytime. Thanks for being there--love and peace--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 9:25 AM
To: copyright@amazon.com
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
your customer support agent just told me this copyright issue is for you. Note: This is not just about me, one author/copyright holder. It is about the bogus practice abebooks.com cites as policy below. Copyrighting an "original" photo of someone else's book cover? Give me a break. And if you check further, the criminologist in me guesses this might even be covert standard practice among rare book sellers.
Let me know what action you take, if any. regards--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:28 AM
To: security@amazon.com
Subject: FW: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
This practice of putting a copyright notice on a picture of someone else's book cover has stopped for me. It needs to stop for everyone, as I'm sure you'll agree. thanks for your help--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 8:07 AM
To: buyertech@abebooks.com
Subject: RE: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
You are not entitled to put a copyright notice on a picture of my cover. I have freed the book from copyright, and I don't want any hint of the situation being otherwise for ANY copy of the book. Please do what you need to simply to ensure that no picture of the book cover ever carries a copyright notice, especially to someone other than me. I saw yesterday that you had taken the image of the book off amazon. That's fine with me. I don't care whether you even offer the book for sale. Just con't put a copyright notice on a picture of the book cover. thanks--hal
Hal Pepinsky, pepinsky@indiana.edu, skype name halpep, "Peacemaking" at pepinsky.blogspot.com
519 Evergreen Circle, Worthington, OH 43085-3667, 1-614-885-6341
________________________________________
From: buyertech@abebooks.com [buyertech@abebooks.com]
Sent: Thursday, May 02, 2013 1:17 AM
To: Pepinsky, Harold E.
Subject: Copyright Info on Listing Details ARN - 53732516
Hello Harold,
Thank you for contacting AbeBooks Customer Support about the Listing Details
page.
When a book listing is uploaded to AbeBooks, we will try to match the book
details or ISBN in our ISBN database. If a match is found, we may enhance the
listing with a photo, synopsis, review, or bibliographic details. Because this
information comes from our ISBN matching services, the Listing Details page
includes their copyright information.
AbeBooks is legally required to include this information with every listing that
may be matched in our database.
Please feel free to contact me should you have any further questions or concerns
and I will be happy to help.
Sincerely,
Megan H
AbeBooks Customer Support
AbeBooks.com Passion for books.
Need further assistance?
Visit our online help pages: http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/ABEHelp
Email: http://www.abebooks.com/abe/ActionRequestInsert
Telephone: 1.800.315.5335 (7:00 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. (Pacific Time), Monday to
Friday)
Security Tip - Please do not send credit card numbers or confidential
information via e-mail or other non-secure methods.
www.abebooks.com | www.abebooks.co.uk | www.abebooks.de
www.abebooks.fr | www.abebooks.it | www.iberlibro.com
*** your question/request ***
Please stop claiming copyright on my book, Harold E. Pepinsky, Crime and
Conflict: A Study of Law and Society (1976). I own the copyright, and have
donated a pdf to the critical criminology division of the american society of
criminology, on their website home page at critcrim.org . You are welcome to
advertise and sell the book to anyone who wants hard copy, since I have already
opened the book to free online access, and advertised that fact broadly. Some
people may want the original binding for their own reasons; I have no need to
keep or sell hard inventory. But please, withdraw your false copyright claim on
amazon. Many thanks--hal pepinsky@indiana.edu
*** end of question/request ***
#en.se.sog.imt.wx
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
The American Indian in the White Man's Prisons pdf (1993) is now online at critcrim.org's home page
...with thanks to webmaster Ken Mentor. Here is the text of the book's back cover/last page:
"'America' needS tO read this book/ It is as compelling as Peter Matthiessen' s In the
Spirit of Crazy Horse, Vine Deloria's God is Red and Custer Died for Your Sins, and Churchill
and Vander Wall's Agents of Repression. The American Indian in the White Man's Prisons: A
Story of Genocide is the most comprehensive documentation of human rights abuses in this
country that I have ever seen ..•. •
Deborah Garlin
Human/Indian rights attorney activist,
author, former legal research and
writing professor
"This book is excellent. It was written collectively by brothers and sisters inside the
prisons, and from their hearts. It is a painfully loud cry for justice. My friend, Bishop
Remi Deroo, wrote a book a few years ago called Cries of Victims, Voice of God, which would
be a good subtitle for this one. The American Indian in the White Man's Prisons: A Story of
Genocide is a book that has been needed for a long, long time, and now it is done.•
Arthur Solomon, Anishnabe
Traditional Elder/Spiritual Leader
author, and prisoners' rights activist
"This book is wonderful, POWERFUL! ...
. .. The writers in this volume, most of whom are present or former Native American prisoners
and spiritual leaders, are masters at portraying the pain and suffering of their people
through the written word. They are spread out in so many networks and so routinely
transferred across prisons and prison systems as 'security risks,' that by legal mail and any
other available means, they have among them a knowledge of prison conditions in North America
far surpassing any other news network or body of literature I have seen. They are pressing
the federal and state governments on a variety of issues such as having nuclear waste dumped
on treaty grounds; and the prison awareness of these writers is matched by their global
awareness of the confrontation between fundamentalist white Christian North America, and
indigenous spiritualism. As we enter the second quincentennial of white European invasion of
the Americas, the first peoples are united as never before on what is at stake for themselves
and for mother earth in this basically religious struggle.
Nowhere on this continent is the battle ground bloodier and more raw than in u.s. prisons,
in 'control units' for activist prisoners in particular. Indian activists are routinely
receiving extended imprisonment, getting beaten and assassinated in prisons across the United
States and Canada for no good reason. Here for the first time, Standing Deer Wilson himself
describes how he agreed to help the fads assassinate American Indian Movement leader and
political prisoner Leonard Peltier. Miraculously, both of them live today. That is not true
of many of their brothers and sisters. If you think George Orwell's ~984 is bad, wait until
you read The American Indian in the. White Man's Prisons: A Story of Genocide.
The most remarkable and revealing part of this clash is that Indian prisoners are asking
only to establish culturally relevant rehabilitation programs designed by and for their own
people (if their suggestions in this book were to be taken seriously by policy makers, I
believe the recidivism rates across the U.S. would decrease significantly for all racial and
ethnic groups -- their suggestions are a substantial constructive response to the prison
crisis); and they ask to be allowed visits with their spiritual advisors ('ministers' we
Anglos call them) and to celebrate worship in their own way. They may, like Peltier and
Standing Deer, go on a prolonged hunger strike to obtain these rights; they may go to courts
and legislatures; but perhaps most exaspe.ratingly to their keepers, they are concertedly nonviolent
and open. The strong ones among them, like these writers, follow a moral code so
demanding, and remain serenely themselves in their commitment so steadfastly, as to terrify
their keepers. To understand this terror of the keepers is to understand how we outside
prison walls continue to accept the attempted genocide of the indigenous spirituality in
ourselves, to say nothing of those who would live by it in our midst.
It is true I come to this book as one whose career in teaching and research takes me to
prisoners and into their worlds, but this book is not only for criminologists, it is for nonnative
peoples across the face of this continent, and indeed on behalf of aboriginal rights
worldwide.•
Harold E. Pepinsky
Author, editor,
Chair, Division of Critical Criminology
"'America' needS tO read this book/ It is as compelling as Peter Matthiessen' s In the
Spirit of Crazy Horse, Vine Deloria's God is Red and Custer Died for Your Sins, and Churchill
and Vander Wall's Agents of Repression. The American Indian in the White Man's Prisons: A
Story of Genocide is the most comprehensive documentation of human rights abuses in this
country that I have ever seen ..•. •
Deborah Garlin
Human/Indian rights attorney activist,
author, former legal research and
writing professor
"This book is excellent. It was written collectively by brothers and sisters inside the
prisons, and from their hearts. It is a painfully loud cry for justice. My friend, Bishop
Remi Deroo, wrote a book a few years ago called Cries of Victims, Voice of God, which would
be a good subtitle for this one. The American Indian in the White Man's Prisons: A Story of
Genocide is a book that has been needed for a long, long time, and now it is done.•
Arthur Solomon, Anishnabe
Traditional Elder/Spiritual Leader
author, and prisoners' rights activist
"This book is wonderful, POWERFUL! ...
. .. The writers in this volume, most of whom are present or former Native American prisoners
and spiritual leaders, are masters at portraying the pain and suffering of their people
through the written word. They are spread out in so many networks and so routinely
transferred across prisons and prison systems as 'security risks,' that by legal mail and any
other available means, they have among them a knowledge of prison conditions in North America
far surpassing any other news network or body of literature I have seen. They are pressing
the federal and state governments on a variety of issues such as having nuclear waste dumped
on treaty grounds; and the prison awareness of these writers is matched by their global
awareness of the confrontation between fundamentalist white Christian North America, and
indigenous spiritualism. As we enter the second quincentennial of white European invasion of
the Americas, the first peoples are united as never before on what is at stake for themselves
and for mother earth in this basically religious struggle.
Nowhere on this continent is the battle ground bloodier and more raw than in u.s. prisons,
in 'control units' for activist prisoners in particular. Indian activists are routinely
receiving extended imprisonment, getting beaten and assassinated in prisons across the United
States and Canada for no good reason. Here for the first time, Standing Deer Wilson himself
describes how he agreed to help the fads assassinate American Indian Movement leader and
political prisoner Leonard Peltier. Miraculously, both of them live today. That is not true
of many of their brothers and sisters. If you think George Orwell's ~984 is bad, wait until
you read The American Indian in the. White Man's Prisons: A Story of Genocide.
The most remarkable and revealing part of this clash is that Indian prisoners are asking
only to establish culturally relevant rehabilitation programs designed by and for their own
people (if their suggestions in this book were to be taken seriously by policy makers, I
believe the recidivism rates across the U.S. would decrease significantly for all racial and
ethnic groups -- their suggestions are a substantial constructive response to the prison
crisis); and they ask to be allowed visits with their spiritual advisors ('ministers' we
Anglos call them) and to celebrate worship in their own way. They may, like Peltier and
Standing Deer, go on a prolonged hunger strike to obtain these rights; they may go to courts
and legislatures; but perhaps most exaspe.ratingly to their keepers, they are concertedly nonviolent
and open. The strong ones among them, like these writers, follow a moral code so
demanding, and remain serenely themselves in their commitment so steadfastly, as to terrify
their keepers. To understand this terror of the keepers is to understand how we outside
prison walls continue to accept the attempted genocide of the indigenous spirituality in
ourselves, to say nothing of those who would live by it in our midst.
It is true I come to this book as one whose career in teaching and research takes me to
prisoners and into their worlds, but this book is not only for criminologists, it is for nonnative
peoples across the face of this continent, and indeed on behalf of aboriginal rights
worldwide.•
Harold E. Pepinsky
Author, editor,
Chair, Division of Critical Criminology
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